On a very good Monday while I was in a building site in Enugu supervising a decking carpentry work, I had stayed about an hour when I remembered that I hadn't eated any meaningful meal all day, and it was past 2pm, so I told my workers that I will be back shortly, I left my car in the site and walked about a hundred metres or more to a restaurant on the corner.
I had just settled down to a meal when my phone rang, it was my carpenter who was sounding frantic, he told me that men of the ESWAMA task force in Enugu were in the site demanding for evidence of payment of debris disposal levy which every site is supposed to pay before construction can start, I asked the carpenter to check it on the wall where I normally leave it pasted. But, he told me that the rains of the previous night peeled the sheet away (as we had no covered place to keep the photocopy) so I asked him to wait for me as I was just around the corner eating. He gave the phone to the stern talking official who spoke to me, I assured the man of coming there in 2 minutes to give him the copy in my car, but he told me he will wait till I come.
I raced back to the site, abandoning my food only to see that the carpenter has been bundled into their bus and they sped off. They usually trick people by asking you to speak to a policeman inside the bus, the policeman will ask you to sit beside him and as soon as you settle on the seat, other officials will close you in and drive you to their office by force. Why couldn't they wait for me when they promised to.
So I called the carpenter, he told me they are speeding back to their office with him, so I started up and chased after them. Somehow, I got to their office before the team, and patiently waited for them in a hidden area to come in. When they reached the office, I quietly came out and asked what the problem is, they wanted to know who I was, and I told him I was in charge of the project. They told me it was me they were looking for, and that they will release the carpenter and detain me for failure to pay up. My mood immediately changed from anger to laughter.
I dared them to go ahead and arrest me and release my carpenter, so they told my worker to go out while I should go into the cage. I waited patiently as my carpenter crossed the gate and went very far, pretending to be walking towards the cage. So they crossed out my carpenters name and asked what my name was so they can replace the name. Big mistake by them.
I quickly swung to their mode, went down to their level and unleashed the thug behaviour which they understand better, I was hurling words at them, asking them to dare touch me if they are not afraid, there was a large crowd of officials, police, and arrested people watching the drama. It quickly turned to a pushing match as they were telling me to enter the arrested peoples area, one of them pulled off his shirt and wanted to fight me! People were restraining him from attacking me. Those people can be very arrogant.
Many more people rushed out to know what was the problem, and then the officer that knows me came out and called out to me, I told him I had paid, and removed the receipt from my pocket, the receipt had his signature. The thugs were still claiming right, insisting that I let the carpenter get away, the drama continued but I knew there was no way they can do anything. In the end, one Oga called all of us into his office and mediated on the matter, the issue was settled and I left the place in only 15 minutes, without paying anything. The thugs later followed me to my car and wanted me to tip them with something, smiling and acting apologetic but I just drove off. Its tough out there.
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